Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Do you ever find yourself going on a loop of negative thoughts leading to more negativity and tears? Do you feel like crawling under the bed and just crying at times?

I was feeling this way the other day. It felt like it was all doom and gloom and that there was no way out. It is normal to feel this way when we are going through any kind of transition and when we have more questions than answers.

It was interesting that soon after I started feeling this way, a friend called me out of the blue to touch base, and she even said it herself, I thought of emailing but decided to call, and she was glad she did. I was too, just sharing my feelings with her helped. Then, when I started getting myself back together, I got an email from another friend inviting me to go to Central Park in the evening to enjoy the tulips. The photo of this post is from that evening.

I didn’t want to show up all messed up and in my own drama, so I stopped what I was doing, and meditated. I asked for guidance and received so much more. My energy had shifted, my awareness of what’s possible had grown and I was feeling myself again.

What can you do when you feel you are going on a downward spiral?

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Recently, during a coaching session I recommended that my client approached her sales or lack thereof through two different ways. The first one was the practical one, the action steps, the marketing strategies, the social media posts, the reaching out, the PR, etc. I gave her tangible steps to take to move forward and to get her work in front of those who would be interested in buying it.

The second way was to be in the energy of creating those opportunities for herself. I mentioned the importance of seeing the exchange of her work for the money, feeling and seeing the possibilities of her work making a difference and improving people’s lives, and she receiving the money in return with ease.

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I’m part of a group of women that meets every three weeks. We are there to support each other if we need help with relationships, business, career, health or whatever is going on in our lives that we need to share and get support.

I have fun noticing how sometimes we repeat to another person, the same advice she gave us just a few weeks earlier. How easy it is to be caught up in the pressure, the fear, and/or the emotions of what we are going through, that we forget to take a step back, see all the options available and tap into our inner wisdom.

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March is Women’s History Month in the USA, and March 8^th is the International Women’s Day. In Brazil the day is celebrated with women getting flowers, chocolate, messages and being appreciated.

Here are a few recommendations to celebrate your day:

Nurture Yourself. I could give you a laundry list of things you could do to nurture yourself, but ultimately you know best. Ask yourself how can I best nurture myself today? And then set some time aside to do it, even if it’s just for 5 minutes.

Take inventory of where you are in your life. This could be a journaling exercise. After completing the inventory, ask yourself if you would like to make any changes. If the answer is yes, choose one step you can take today to pursue it, even if it’s just for 5 minutes.

Get together with a friend. I know, some of us are facing a blizzard, and it might be difficult to get together. How about scheduling to Skype with a friend instead of meeting face-to-face. You can be there for each other and send each other virtual hugs.

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Have you ever felt frustrated by the number of years that have passed without you creating or pursuing your real dreams? Your dreams of someday launching a business, becoming an artist, promoting your music, writing and publishing a book, investing in your talents and gifts, and anything else you know you’ve always wanted to pursue? If yes, have you taken the time to go deeper within to uncover and discover why you haven’t pursued it?

We all have excuses, and it’s so simple to come up with a few: I’m too busy, I’m a procrastinator, I’m lazy, I don’t have time, it’s an expensive project, I’m always exhausted, I don’t have all the skills, I need to figure things out first, I have a lot going on already, and the list goes on.

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During a 2-week journey to Peru, we visited Puno, Uros Island, Cusco, Urubamba and Machu Picchu. We visited temples and many Inca sites. To get to some of them, a lot of hiking was required. In the beginning of the trip, my fear of heights showed up and almost paralyzed me. The only reason I made it through and back was because of those who showed up in a big way to hold my hand, to cheer me on, or to give me invaluable advice – your feet know what to do, trust yourself, don’t look down, look at your feet only, you can do it! The fear showed up again in other hikes that were not so difficult but yet scary. Again I counted on others for support, encouragement, and a calm presence which helped me to keep going.

On our last day in Machu Picchu, we were advised that the guide had purchased in advance, tickets for us to climb Wayna Picchu, but only those who thought they could handle it should go. I talked to those who had climbed it at another time. The women explained how hard it was, but encouraged me to go for it. The men mentioned the strength needed and figured I could probably handle it. I was very close to not going, but then I decided that since one of the reasons for going on the trip was to transform myself and to expand my comfort zone, I owed it to myself to go for it. I had also been advised that failing was not an option. There would be no one or no way to go back in case I realized mid-way through it that I couldn’t do it – very reassuring.

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Last night I hosted a teleconference to discuss the 7 strategies I learned to take that helped me to start WomenandBiz.com, write and publish “Ask Others, Trust Yourself”, and most recently, write and submit a short story to a Literary Magazine.

The reason I’m so passionate about helping you end the year on a high note is because I had many end of the year frustrations in my life. For many years I wrote in my journal on December 31^st, that I was publishing a book that year (and many other things), and it didn’t happen for a long time.

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During this time of changes, we may feel like we are losing our power. Those of us living in New York will recover from the shock and impact, we will get our power back, we will rebuild. Those less fortunate who lost their homes, but are safe, will rebuild as well. I feel blessed that I’m alive, and that although our building does not have heat, we do have power and I’m very grateful. I’m also grateful that the NYC buses are running and that slowly but surely the subways will start running again. Many friends and so many people in NY, NJ and CT are without power, and my thoughts go out to them, and I hope that it will all be restored soon.

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In April 2012, I wrote the article Chaos, after both of my sites had crashed the previous month. I was able to re-launch this site then, only to have it crash again a few days later. I realized that a major makeover was needed, and took the site down again.

It’s been five months since, and that’s how long it took to re-launch this site. In reality, it didn’t take five months to actually re-launch it, it took this long to:

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