Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Take One Step Today

What have you been thinking about doing for yourself for a while but there is never enough time, money, or simply it is never the perfect timing? Did you receive an answer from yesterday’s challenge that is aligned with what you’ve been wanting to pursue?  How about you take one step towards your dream, even if it is a small step?

I first came up with the idea of the 30-day self-love challenge in the beginning of July. But I kept postponing the launch of it, waiting for the perfect time, thinking about the best way to do it, holding on until I finished editing the fiction story I wrote, hoping to come up with a plan, and ultimately, I confess, procrastinating.

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Connect with Your Soul’s Deepest Desire:

We are getting closer to the end of the 30-day challenge and there is still so much that we can talk about and do for ourselves on a daily basis. I will probably continue posting “self-love tip of the day”, as it is my ongoing commitment to practice it daily and to encourage you to do the same.

Through this journey of self-love, a big part of it is to connect with our heart space, and to open ourselves to the inspiration and intuition that is available when we are able to quiet our minds.

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Read a Passage from Your Favorite Book:

Today’s self-love challenge is simple. Choose one book among your favorite ones and read a passage that you love. In my opinion, reading a book that uplifts me feels like eating soul food. 😉

Take at least fifteen minutes off to read something that inspires you, let go of any worries, and enjoy the book. Let the words sink in and move you. If you are currently reading a great book that you can’t put down, simply keep reading it, and make sure to allow the written word to touch your heart.

Express Unexpected Gratitude:

Happy U.S. Thanksgiving! In addition to showing gratitude to your family and closest friends today, thank someone who would not be expecting to hear from you. The self-love challenge is for you to look back since the beginning of 2013, and recall one time that you were having a bad day, and then someone showed up and, either knowingly or unknowingly brightened your day, and/or offered a helping hand.

Here are a few examples of situations that come to mind:

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Gratitude to Self:

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States and we are likely going to be sharing what we are grateful for with each other. The self-love challenge today is for you to write a letter to yourself, expressing what you are grateful for within you. Express your gratitude towards where you are, who you are, how you are, and show yourself appreciation. While you are writing the letter, you may hear your inner critic expressing their opinion to you, mine did! I recommend that you tell the inner critic that you will keep her/his advice in mind, but that for now you are appreciating yourself anyway.

Here is an example from my own gratitude letter to myself. I kept my inner critic contributions out of my final letter, but wrote one down here, in case you can relate.

Dear Elisa,

Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for taking the time to create the self-love challenge, for hosting it, and most of all, for committing to doing every challenge you post. Thank you for the new and healthier choices you are making in your life.  Thank you for the daily meditation. [To which the inner critic said, you skipped it yesterday] Thank you for saying yes to spending the weekend away at friends’ house and for having fun. ...

Elisa

If you need additional inspiration to write the letter, breathe deeply, and connect with your heart space before you start writing it. This is the time for you to show appreciation for your own self. Have fun with it. If you feel like it, write a hand-written letter and actually mail it to yourself. I’m mailing the one I wrote to myself later today.

For those who celebrate, Happy Chanukah! And do expect miracles to happen.

Forgiveness of Self and Others

Today’s self-love challenge is about forgiveness, forgiving others through meditation and also forgiving oneself. Forgiving yourself can release pain that no longer serves you, and it can open space within your heart for deeper love of self and for practicing giving and receiving love.

I have a couple of meditations I’d like to suggest for you to consider as today's practice of forgiveness towards yourself and others. When considering the forgiveness meditation, connect with your heart space, and make sure you are ready to release and let go. If the time has not come yet to forgive a certain person in your life, pick someone who does not carry a heavy weight at this time, and go back to these tools when you feel it is time.

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Take time to go within and cry or grieve:

Each day that you practice self-love you are honoring yourself and your deepest feelings. Many of the challenges I shared so far could become a daily practice.

A big part of self-love is to connect within and to honor feelings you may have avoided for your own reasons. Today’s challenge is for you to allow some deep feelings you may have buried at some point in your life, to resurface and to feel them. You will need to set aside 10 to 15 minutes of alone time. Let your family, employees, co-workers or roommates know that you need some quiet and uninterrupted time. If you are going through a recent loss of any kind, skip the part of timing yourself, and feel and honor your feelings and be where you are.

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What are the quotes that inspire you the most? Take some time today to write them down on an index card, or on a few post-its, and place them where you will see them often.

I tell myself “This Too Shall Pass”, when I’m feeling stuck and it helps to know that as long as I’m in the moment, and I allow the feelings to flow without resistance, it will pass. I also appreciate the quote “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” by Albert Einsten . And last year I came up with my own mantra “I’m safe, I’m centered, I’m supported” and I still use it every now and then. (I shared why I came up with it here.)

What is it that you tell yourself when you need something to encourage you to keep going? Could you come up with a mantra that’s just for you that you can use it as needed? Feel free to post your favorite quote and/or your own original one here.

Hug a Tree with Intention:

Today’s self-love challenge is to go outside and hug a tree with intention (I’ll explain what this means to me). I know that depending on where you live, it is really cold out, but it is worth the effort!

I remember reading a book that recommended that, at night, we should leave our problems outside our home, by leaving them with a tree and saying that we would pick it up in the morning. But by the morning, we would have forgotten to pick it up, or they would have lessened and we would go on with our day less worried. I don’t remember which book, and if you know it, please leave a comment below.

Although the idea of letting the problems outside my home appealed to me, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving my problems with a tree - “poor tree” I used to think. I know that tree hugging sure is healing, so I developed an extra step to make me feel at peace with it, and that’s what I call “hugging a tree with intention”. Every time my energy is feeling off, or I’m carrying some pain that I’m unable to shift for whatever reason, I make a point to hug a tree. Instead of simply sending the energy to the tree, I visualize the tree taking that energy, and sending it through its roots into the earth, so that it can be transformed. And I see the energy being returned as love for the tree and for myself. It always helps to shift my energy and to release whatever is stuck inside. If you don't have anything to release today, while hugging the tree, send it love and receive it back.

If you are shy, or if you think this is too weird, start experimenting with just touching a tree, placing both hands on it, or just one hand, and sensing how it feels. If you have a chance to go to the park, just stand still for a while, and sense which tree to hug. You could also invite your spouse and/or children, and/or a friend to go with you. This way you are not alone hugging trees. 😉 If you do bring someone with you, make sure to take pictures of each other and post them on Facebook.

Your Own Super Powers

How did you do with yesterday’s exercise? We will go back to what you most want to create in the next few days, but for today, we will focus on the super powers you will count on to get there.

Have you ever seen yourself as a super hero? What would you consider your super power(s)? Today’s self-love challenge is for you to see yourself as a super hero, and write down your super powers. They could be related to career, parenting, relationships, spirituality, creativity, mind, physical power, or anything else that you come up with.

Here are some examples of super powers to give you some ideas:

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