For the past few years, as long as I have time available, I have created gifts for friends and family, instead of buying them something. I started a little over two years ago, by drawing the flower that is shown at the top right of this post’s image. At the time, I was taking photos of flowers and trying to draw them. This was the first time I actually created a gift - I printed the photo, and drew the flower, put them both in a picture frame, and gave it to Robert Baker, a friend/spiritual teacher/mentor, who sadly passed away a year ago this Sunday. It meant a lot to me that he received it graciously, and displayed it right away. In most situations, I don’t receive the same response though. Out of all the picture frame gifts I created for friends, I’ve only seen one displayed at another friend’s house, and it warmed my heart when I saw it. The others may have kept it somewhere hidden, or they may have thrown it away for all I know.
One of Robert’s lessons helps me to let go of any attachment to the response I may receive regarding the gifts I create:
I’ve been reflecting on this quote by Maya Angelou: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will not forget how you made them feel." for the last several weeks, after two dearest people in my life passed away unexpectedly within 30 days from each other. All I keep thinking about is what they meant to me, even if for only the four years we knew each other in one case, and twelve years in another.
During one of my meditations a week ago, I was thinking about the fact that I had been stuck with one of my projects once again, and was trying to find answers. The project is the short story I wrote a while back, and I have been adding to it and editing for several months now, as I intend to publish it this year. During the meditation I sought answers of why this was happening. I asked why I was procrastinating and not working on it, while time was passing and I wasn’t making anything happen.
After having a day of unfortunate events, I hoped for some good news, or at least to get home and have a book I had ordered by my door. I had checked the tracking number and knew that it was going to be delivered that day, but I couldn’t stay home to wait for it. Late in the evening, when I got home and checked my mailbox, I saw the box with the book stuck in it, in a diagonal position. I had a split second of happiness and excitement for the book’s arrival, and relief for not having to go to the Post Office the next day; only to realize that the box was stuck. I removed the rest of the mail that was easy to reach. Then, I tried to remove the box by folding the edges on both ends, and nothing. I took off my coat, so that my arm would fit inside the mailbox and reach the end of the package, and I started pushing it. It didn’t work either. I kept trying to use strength for a while, without success. I tried to use the string that helps open boxes, but it was facing down, and I couldn’t move it too far. The thought of going upstairs to pick up scissors crossed my mind, but I didn’t really feel like it.
I keep getting this image of taking the first step to achieving something, and then taking the next one, and the next, and the next. The first step simply isn’t enough anymore.
Early in February, I wrote in my journal “The words unsaid”. I had attended an all-day women’s workshop and was touched by the bravery of those willing to go on the “hot seat”. It turns out that we had more things in common than we could think or imagine. When we share, and don’t keep words unsaid, we learn that we are not alone, and we serve as an example and support for others. Your sharing may give someone else the permission they need to speak up, and to ask for support.
A few weeks ago I wrote an article inspired in part by a Creative Writing course I was taking, and the not so positive feedback I received on my first homework. Each week we got different assignments on non-fiction and fiction, and we were required to focus on the many aspects of creative writing. I could easily have decided not to come back, but I really wanted to go through it, especially since some of the writing exercises were outside my comfort zone.
I wrote Ask Others, Trust Yourself a few years ago out of my desire to help clients who had been stuck for many years, or who were afraid of pursuing their business for whatever reason, or who specifically became stuck due to negative feedback, or who thought they had to do it all and never asked for help.
Are you feeling stuck in your life/business/career? Would you like to get clearer on why you are stuck? Have you taken the first few steps to make your soul purpose and project happen, only to get stuck again?