Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Do you ever hear yourself say that, while cooking, communicating, working, presenting, selling, creating, etc.?  As I practice paying attention to my inner voice, I’ve noticed lately that when I’m cooking, that voice shows up every time I decide to try something different. I might be in the middle of adding a spice or herb I find in my cabinet, which was probably placed there by mom during her visit, and I hear “I don’t know what I’m doing”.

I only started cooking after I moved to New York, and it’s not like I’ve cooked daily since. I don’t consider myself a pro, I’ve never had formal training, and I usually don’t know what goes with what. I tend to resist studying about it or following book recipes… I try to follow my mom’s recipes by heart, but I sometimes can’t find all the ingredients, or don’t remember all that is needed, so I give myself permission to experiment. The reality is that when I catch myself thinking “I don’t know what I’m doing”, I acknowledge that yes, I don’t know.

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I missed the semifinal World Cup game Brazil vs Germany yesterday afternoon. I was commuting and checking in disbelief the score on an app on my phone. By the time I got home, it was half time, and by then there was no point in watching it anymore. (I’m happy to see many positive messages starting to pop up, as it relates to our personal and spiritual growth, during “good” and “bad” times, but this article is not about the World Cup.)

On my way home as I followed the game, I thought how nice it would be if the box of chocolate my mother had mailed to me last week would have arrived. It would at least be something good to balance the events of that afternoon. I imagined two scenarios: either there would be a delivery note in my mailbox for me to pick it up, or as it happened once before, the postman would have left the box there for me, even without a signature.

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I had the opportunity to visit Finland for the first time, to attend a conference in Lappeenranta. It was a wonderful experience, I learned from the conference, and I also had some personal experiences that I will always cherish. Here are the evening experiences that made the trip even more special, as I followed my intuition:

The day I arrived, there was a dinner outside with the conference attendees, followed by an opportunity to go to the sauna, and then jump on the cold lake, and back to the sauna. I had read the program, suggesting that we could bring a swimming suit if we wanted to experience it, and I did. I was a little insecure about it, since I had never done it before. It turns out that several people had done it and knew what to do. I trusted myself and asked as many questions as I could think of to one of the conference attendees who was leading us to the sauna, and who had done it before. Even though we had just met, I asked all the questions I could think of, as it was the only way for me to gather courage to do it.

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How is your spiritual practice? How long have you been in it? Is there room to simplify it? Or does it need to be more complex instead?

I’m always seeking to learn and evolve, although sometimes it feels like I’m learning more of the same thing. I used to resist when someone was sharing something I had heard a million times, now I simply say thank you. Because we can forget, and we do need to be reminded of the magic we are capable of creating.

I find that even when we learn a tool, it doesn't mean that we have to follow it to the letter, though. I’ve been learning and doing my best to practice simplicity, not worrying too much about the “right” way of doing something, and simply allowing it to unfold, and trusting myself to know what to do.

The other day I had the opportunity to share this concept with one of my clients. She was asking about a meditation I had taught her. She wanted to know the exact steps I had shared, and confirm if she was doing it the “right” way. I told her to simply follow her intuition, and allow the meditation to flow as it will, for her highest good. I’m a strong believer that you can trust your own intuition when in meditation, although I don’t deny that at times, there is power into following a guided meditation. When I follow guided meditations, sometimes I need to pause the recording to have enough time to go on a deeper journey than the one the guided meditation may be leading me into.

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