Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Have you ever heard someone tell you: Get over it already!? Have you ever told yourself that?

In this article, I’m going to share what happened to me last year, and give you some steps to take to “get over” a trauma, or better yet, to move through it.

A year ago today, a relationship I was involved in ended abruptly. There was no real communication, no explanation provided, only it’s over, goodbye. No calls or emails afterwards. My heart was hardened – that night I couldn’t sleep, eat, probably not even feel, as I was so numb and in shock. I remember what was said, or not said, I remember exactly whom I called afterwards, and why. I remember calling Expedia and trying to cancel the ticket I had purchased to travel with him. I remember crying on the phone with customer service, begging to cancel the ticket, only to learn it was non-refundable and non-transferable.

I also remember going on that trip alone; I had after all purchased a very expensive ticket. I remember having the support from a friend who answered the text I sent him from the airport, and he sent me loving messages in return as I cried waiting to board the plane. On the plane, I made the decision to enjoy that trip, and so I did. I was, after all, in Scotland! for the first time ever. (This photo was taking in Edinburgh - I thought the article could use a little lightness from Yoda.)

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One of my best friends gave me a bookshelf and helped me set it up. When I put it up, I realized that we had made a mistake with the back of it. The wrong side was facing us. Instead of being disappointed, upset, or even angry with myself for not realizing this minor mishap sooner, I saw it as an opportunity. I saw that silver panel as a blank canvas. I realized I could have the opportunity to create a huge painting.

So, I laid it back on the floor and I painted, and painted, and painted. You can see how it looks like in the picture within this post. I didn’t have much of a plan for it. I only knew that the sky was going to be blue. I started there. Then, I decided to paint mountains, in honor of my hometown as well as my trip to Peru. Then I painted the sun and some flowers, trees, and other details. A few days later I painted the bottom part, the attempt was to paint the beach and ocean, and probably only I or someone with a very creative mind can recognize it, and that's OK… ; )

It was a really fun project, because I was not concerned about the outcome. It is going to be behind books after all. But I will know that behind the books, there is a hidden treasure, a heaven, a peaceful place I painted. And I can assure you that no one else has or will ever have a bookshelf like this one, unless when I’m ready to give it away.

Here are some questions for you to consider as you uncover ways to transform your own mishaps into opportunities:

• What can you make it into an opportunity in your life right now?
• How can you look at a mishap or a problem upside down or backwards to help you shift your energy and find a creative solution?
• How can you allow yourself to be fully creative, letting go of perfectionism, or the perfect outcome, or even a certain outcome, period?

I recommend that you come up with something fun to do: paint, dance, laugh, sing, write, hang out with friends, listen to your favorite songs, as you put your mishap on hold, and allow inspiration to flow through you. Then, trust yourself and when you least expect it, you will smile and you will know what to do. I can tell you that painting the bookshelf was very healing, which is a bonus. 😉

Feel free to share the opportunities you come up with here.

Today is Valentine’s Day in Brazil. It is quite a different day than February 14^th in the United States. It’s mainly a day for couples to celebrate their relationship, to have a romantic dinner, exchange gifts, etc. There is no greeting card exchange with friends or loved ones who are not involved romantically.

As a single person, you tend not to care so much for this day, or you dread the day, or you don’t even think about it. The main issue is when you go out and you see all the restaurants with candle light dinners, and all the happy couples around. Here are a few good self-love attitudes to consider and practice love for self with or without a romantic relationship:

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4 Stages of Feeling Stuck and What You Can Do About it

How often do you feel stuck in your life? How about in your business? How often do you feel stuck when writing, painting, creating, growing?

I consider that we all go through different stages of “stuckness” depending on how we are responding to it, and what’s happening in each moment.

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When I was writing Ask Others, Trust Yourself, my inner critic had a lot to say about my abilities to write in English, my abilities to write period, and what could possibly set me apart from all the other great books that were out there. Ultimately, my passion for writing and my passion for sharing my own message and my deep desire to shake people up and show them there was a way, won.

As I build my coaching business, I sometimes have the same tendency, and I’m constantly asking myself what’s unique about me now? I’m on the email list of high profile coaches who have created huge empires, such as Marie Forleo with her B-school and inspiring online TV show, Fabienne Fredrickson with her highly effective Client Attraction program, and Ali Brown the e-zine Queen and entrepreneur mentor, just to name a few, so I do need to keep asking myself what’s unique about me?

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