Author: Elisa Balabram (Page 7 of 21)

It Takes Practice!

practice2All we do in life takes practice. You may have heard that Malcolm Gladwell explored the fact that it takes at least 10,000 hours practicing a craft; and he gave examples of famous musicians, professionals in IT, sports and others; for someone to really become a master of it. It makes sense, and he presents the research and examples in his book Outliers: The Story of Success. He also talked about it in this video.

I wanted to take it a step further, and share with you two quick examples that came up for me, and got me thinking about how it takes constant and daily practice, and commitment to shift old habits and master new behaviors as well. The two examples are about how I became a person with patience, and how I learned to remember people’s names.

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Self-Love and Nurturing

flowerspaintingWhen I wrote about self-love yesterday, I forgot to mention nurturing self. Yes, I included expressing needs, but it goes even deeper, in actually knowing our needs and then making sure that they are met, by us when possible.

Yesterday, I had one of the best Valentine’s Day ever, and I’m not involved in a romantic relationship. I set the intention early on to have a full Self-Love day. And I realized that I had to add a few things to the mouthful of what I said about self-love yesterday. I will share the highlights of my day, and include the self-love practices:

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What is self-love and why does it matter?

affirmationI’m often asked that question, and during a call Catherine Storing, Chief Style Coach hosted about The Love conversation, she asked me what I considered self-love.

I think that each of us have our own versions of what self-love is, and feel free to post yours on the comments below. In my experience and opinion, it includes honoring and valuing who we truly are, respecting ourselves and therefore claiming respect from others, accepting who we are, expressing our needs, understanding and knowing our value, being brave and willing to show up authentically, setting boundaries, appreciating all parts of ourselves, allowing ourselves to be creative and vulnerable, letting go of perfectionism, and the list can go on. It is a mouthful, and it can probably be summed up into loving ourselves unconditionally and fully.

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At the End of the Day, Focus on The Positive

sunsetHow about if as today’s self-love practice, you put emphasis on what’s positive and loving in your life, and less emphasis on what’s not working? How about if you transform any negative feedback you ever got, into positive action to make it happen? This is the choice I’m making today, and here are two episodes that happened to me on the same evening.

I’m taking a 6-week Creative Writing class, as one of my investing in myself self-love practices, and this happened on the third class. Unfortunately, though not surprisingly, I received less than encouraging feedback from our first assignment that was due on the second class. When I first read it, I thought maybe I will never be a creative writer after all, or my brain is just not wired that way. Then I decided to shift my thinking, and have hopes that maybe when the course is over, I will have learned enough to shift my brain, to practice, and to write creatively. Even though I’m not avoiding the feelings that came up from reading her feedback, or from the way I interpreted it, I’m choosing to be grateful for something that happened before the class.

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The Thoughts We Choose

ThoughtsI have read a lot about the Law of Attraction over the years, and about paying attention to our thoughts and feelings. In my experience, it is a constant practice of shifting the mind, rewiring thoughts, and replacing them with new and healthier ones. It is easy to get caught up in thoughts of drama, of doom and gloom, of failure, of loses. Or maybe it is just me.

If you are still reading this article, it probably means that I’m not alone, and you too have your drama thought moments. Thank you for being there with me as well.

We had a couple of snowstorms and extreme weather conditions, and the subway system in New York suffered a little bit, and I decided to reframe my thoughts when there were subway issues.

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Beyond Stuck

stuck1The reason I’m calling this article and the webinar I’m hosting on February 6th Beyond Stuck is because I was so stuck last month, that I was feeling beyond stuck! We will be addressing how to identify why you might be stuck, how to identify the distractions you use to keep yourself stuck, and how to move forward.

Here are some examples of how you can justify the stuckness:

  • Buzyness – You keep yourself busy all the time, so that you either have no chance to pursue something really important, or you do not have the mental clarity to do it.
  • Lack of Money – There is no extra money left to take any steps other than being in survival mode.
  • No Time – There is always something to be taken care of before the dream can become a priority.

Here are some of the reasons why you could be stuck:

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Beyond Stuck Webinar

handsandheartWe will go deeper in revealing if/when/why/how you are stuck, and we will discuss ways to move beyond the stuckness into gentle action and with self-love.

In this webinar, through guided exercises, you will go within to learn some of the reasons you are stuck, why you may keep perpetuating old habits; you will get crystal clear about the distraction methods you use to avoid taking steps, and about the feelings you would prefer to avoid; and you will learn how to start creating changes that last.

If you feel you have taking some steps to pursue your soul purpose and project, but still feel stuck, sign up for this free webinar, and gain insight on how getting unstuck is possible. Join us on this journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, self-empowerment, and self-love.

Online webinar: Thursday, February 6th 2014 at 8pm EST

Follow this link to register: http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=EA52DA8487493D

Elisa Balabram will share her own struggles with being stuck, and will provide the steps she uses to overcome it.

All attendees will receive a self-coaching guide that I offer my clients, after the call, filled with writing exercises and questions to help you move forward. Sign up today!

We All See and Experience Things Differently - A Good Self-love Reminder

artview

How many times do you have misunderstandings with relationships, with clients, with co-workers, with employees, and in life in general? Sometimes we believe we are as clear as possible, and others still receive our message a different way. I have hanging in my wall a drawing that reminds me that we all see, experience, and feel even the same things in our own unique way. It is a good reminder that not everyone will always get exactly what we mean, and we may need to paint the whole scenario a different way to get our message across.

Here is the story of the drawings on this post:

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How to Move Beyond Resistance and Deepen the Self-love

ResistanceI wrote a lot about self-love in the last couple of months. I also practiced every day each suggestion that I posted. Yet, some evenings I just wanted to crawl under the bed and say forget about self-love! I would indulge in not feeling good enough, not being perfect, feeling less than. Then, through a moment of clarity, I would remember that I had tools to deal with those feelings. But I was too far gone to make the moment of clarity last, or to actually use the tools, so I would go back to the familiar – resistance.

I would resist moving forward, and I would be stuck between allowing myself to feel all the feelings that came up, and simply avoiding them altogether. Can you relate? What do you do when you simply want to avoid those feelings that are percolating?  Do you usually try to avoid them or do you allow yourself to feel them fully? The more we resist, the longer they stay around, yet it is hard to take the first step.

Here are a few things that I learned to practice to get beyond the internal self-talk that wants to curse self-love and just feel bad for days:

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Lessons Learned from Horseback Riding Practically for the First Time

Elisa Balabram and Gavião

Elisa Balabram and Gavião

I had no real experience going horseback riding. I remember that 21 years ago I had the opportunity to do so for the first time in a small field, just going once around that field, with someone else walking next to us. I don't think this qualifies as horseback riding, though.

Twenty one years later, my youngest sister and I went to a farm hotel and had the opportunity to horseback ride a few times. The first time I could sense the horse wasn't very comfortable as he only wanted to walk on grass. I told the team and they decided to let him rest, until they could fix his horseshoe. The second horse didn't want to leave the stable at all, but once we did, he was great. The third one walked slowly as we moved away from the stable and pretty fast when we turned around to go back.

Lessons learned:

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Page 7 of 21

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