Author: Elisa Balabram (Page 13 of 21)

Self-Love Challenge – Day 4

callCall a Friend You Haven’t Talked to in a While

I had a lot of laughs yesterday, it was very healing. How did you do with yesterday’s challenge?

I visited the link posted by one of our readers, thanks Lynn, and I also watched some YouTube.com improv videos that always make me laugh. I started watching videos and reading humor books when I made a new year’s resolution several years ago to laugh more.

Today’s self-love challenge is to call a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. You may be hoping he or she calls you, you may even have exchanged emails recently, or liked their social media activities, but you have not actually spoken with them for at least a month. Think of someone who always uplifts your spirits when you are around them, and say hello. That action alone will brighten their day and yours. You may even tell them that what prompted you to call them was the self-love challenge, and maybe he/she would like to join you on this journey.  😉 If you can’t think of anyone you would like to touch base with that you haven’t talked to in a while, simply call someone you love who you know loves you back, and have a meaningful chat with them.

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Self-love Challenge - Day 3

Photo courtesy of Vancouver Biennale / Dan Fairchild Photography A-maze-ing Laughter sculpture of the 2009-2011 Vancouver Biennale exhibition

Photo courtesy of Vancouver Biennale / Dan Fairchild Photography
A-maze-ing Laughter sculpture of the 2009-2011 Vancouver Biennale exhibition

Find something to laugh about today

What makes you laugh? Do you have a favorite comedian and/or a favorite humor book? Take some time today to search for a short video of your favorite comedian on YouTube, or read a passage from a humor book, and have a good laugh as part of your self-love practice. You could also invite some friends over and plan an evening of laughter.  That is so much fun!

Before you search for the video or book, set the intention that you will find something that will really make you laugh out loud with ease.

Feel free to leave a comment with a joke, a link to a video you like, or suggest a book.

 

NaBloPoMo November 2013

Self-love Challenge - Day 2

3 things I love about myselfThree Things You Love About Yourself

Get an index card, or a post-it, and write down three things you love about yourself. I recommend that you go within and consider what you love about who you are, about your being, about your personality, and/or about your talents and gifts. If you would like to keep going after you write the top three, go for it! This is a great self-love exercise, enjoy it.

Keep in mind that this is your list, and it is not about what others love about you; it is about what you love about yourself. If it is hard to distinguish between the two, take some time to close your eyes, breathe, be quiet and then ask yourself what you want to include on your list.

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30-Day Self-love Challenge - Day 1

selfhug

Each day I will post one suggestion for you to follow to practice self-love, it’s a 30-day self-love challenge! Some days will be as simple as today’s suggestion, and some days may take more effort and planning.

Today’s suggestion is for you to close your eyes, breathe and hug yourself for one minute. You can set the timer to go off after one minute and you will see how it goes pretty quickly. Make sure to stay away from the computer or turn down the sound, so that you don’t have any distractions for that one minute.

I’ve also added the mantra “I love myself”, and repeated it with my eyes closed. This picture was taken a few seconds after I started this breathing/hug/meditation. You can choose to do it only once, or you can repeat it a few times throughout the day.

Cheers to a month of self-love and kindness towards ourselves. You can also follow the challenge on Facebook.

Yesterday I signed up for the BlogHer NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) challenge, which is a challenge to write a blog a day in November 2013. The theme I chose is a series of daily self-love practices. I have been working on this project for a while, and the BlogHer challenge seemed like the perfect timing to launch it.

Practicing self-love may mean stepping outside your comfort zone

Fireflies

Fireflies

I have been writing a lot about self-love and what it means and what we can do when we commit to it. It includes setting boundaries, asking for what we need, taking time for ourselves, nurturing ourselves, showing up to have fun, expressing our creativity, meditating, doing things that bring us joy, and so much more. Some of them feel safe and easy and others not so much depending on how comfortable you are or aren’t with any of those activities or states of being.

In the spirit of my own commitment to self-love, I purchased on Groupon a painting class hosted by Paint Nite –Drink Creatively. The goal was to paint fireflies and create a painting based on an original painting created by another artist of Paint Nite. The site did recommend that you do this activity with friends, but I decided to buy it last minute, and didn’t invite anyone to go with me (first mistake). I also forgot to set an intention before I got there (second mistake). As I saw the age range of the majority of the attendees, likely half my age, and the fact that all of them had gone with friends or family, I started to feel uncomfortable (third mistake, but very much related to the first one). I also didn’t consider how the others could be better painters, could have done this before, could be true artists, and how would that make me feel, at least not until we started painting (fourth mistake).

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How to Use Halloween to Embrace your Masked Self and to Let the Mask Go

halloween1What are you wearing for Halloween or the next costume party you are invited too?  The heroine of my next book mentions the mask she wears, and the roles she chose to play to be able to function in the world, and to keep her inner child safe. We all have developed some sort of mask and roles we play at some point in our lives.

How about if you choose one of the masks you wear, your favorite one, the one you feel the strongest about, and create a costume based on that mask and role you choose to play in life? After the party is over, you can choose to start letting go of that mask for good.

Before you come up with the mask and costume, make sure to ask permission from your inner child, after all, you will fully expose and even exaggerate one of the roles she/he plays to stay safe.

Here are some examples of roles and some costume’s ideas:

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Vicious Cycle – Showing Up, Hiding, Showing Up, Hiding

vicious cycleLet me know if you can relate. You put yourself out there, you promote your products/services, you write articles, you are a guest blogger, and you post your ideas on social media. Your close friends are excited for you and post comments, participate in the conversation. However, all the effort and attempts to build an audience, does not translate into business, at least not right away. You start to question your own abilities and your worth. Now that your confidence and even self-worth is hurt, you decide not to put yourself out there anymore. What’s the point?

So you hide. Then, when nobody is responding to the few posts you write here and there (your friends feel like they supported you enough, or they don't even see your posts), you feel reaffirmed. All your suspicions that nobody cared, nobody was interested in what you had to say, nobody really showed you that you mattered, are true. Of course, how often are you posting now? How in touch with the world are you? How often are you commenting on other people’s blogs? How often are you participating, engaging, sharing, giving, acknowledging others?

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I’m a coach who doesn’t have all the answers

Questions and AnswersWhen I first started coaching entrepreneurs nine years ago, I was nervous. I asked a friend and colleague what to do if I didn’t know an answer to my first client’s questions. She wisely recommended that I could say I didn’t know, but would research it. What a relief! I didn’t have to know all the answers. Almost ten years later, it’s rarely the case that I don’t have an answer, but I realized that it’s not important to have answers at all. The key is to help others figure out the answers on their own, and to ask great questions.

One time a client shared with me this unhealthy habit she had and that she wanted to commit to stopping it. After a while she turned to me and asked, Elisa, why do you think I do this? I went over it in my head, thinking of something smart to say, asking myself, why does she do this?, please say something smart, come up with a good answer, I told myself. All I could come up with was I have no idea! Instead of saying that out loud, I thought of a question, and I asked her: When did you first start this habit, do you remember it? I thought that her answer would help us come up with a reason together. She paused, thought about it, and she smiled and said I got it, I know why I do this, I can let it go now, thank you. She never told me when or why and it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she got the answer she needed from within, and I was simply the catalyst to help her find her answers. When I followed up with her, she confirmed that she no longer had that habit.

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Elisa’s Social Media Best Practice Tips:

rules1I’m constantly asked about best practices on Twitter and Facebook, and here are some of the questions I have heard: What are the rules? How to get more followers? How to get more likes? Why isn’t anybody engaging with me? How come people don’t see my posts?

There are great articles on the web about social media best practices, and Mashable.com for example has great tips.

Since I have my own unwritten rules, I’ve decided to write them down. I know, from now on I can’t call them unwritten anymore.

Please note that every time I say friends, it could be a business contact, a Twitter follower, or a Facebook “friend”.

  1. Have a Higher Purpose: Don’t write content or share information for likes. Write it and share it because it means something to you and it will mean something to your friends.

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Being Real and Vulnerable

being realAfter I published the article “Get over it already, or maybe not”, I felt sick to my stomach. The thoughts that came to mind included, how can you share this with the world wide web?, what will people think of you?, did you just admit you failed?, what did you just do? Those are just some of the thoughts that came up for me, combined with the body sensations of sickness.

Luckily, I had to attend a lunch meeting, and couldn’t keep dwelling on those thoughts. When I got home, a few hours later, I was encouraged by all the responses the article had gotten. They included supportive comments, acknowledgment of the process I described, and gratitude by those experiencing a similar situation.  It was wonderful to read the posts offering additional information to help those going through their own healing process.

The comments kept coming, by email, Facebook messages, comments within the article, and even in person meetings. Many told me that thanks to my article they realized they weren’t alone, they realized they weren’t the only ones going through a heart break, and that it was fine to  reach out for support. I also deeply appreciate the thank you notes from those who found the strategy of living moment to moment helpful.

Interestingly enough, others who have not read the article are also becoming even more vulnerable and open with me than they ever allowed themselves to be. The reality is that once you let go of your masks, and you become fully real with yourself first and foremost, and with others, people respond to you the same way.

How are you being real? Ask yourself the following questions:

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