Take a Joy Inventory

Before the year ends, how about taking a moment to reflect on all the joyful moments you had throughout the year? A few days ago, I was talking to a friend, who said that he was ready for the year to end. There were several worrisome things happening throughout the year, and he was hoping the new year would be different. When I asked about a few serious concerns from the previous year, he mentioned that all is well, and acknowledged that there were some blessings this year. I don’t think my friend is alone in focusing on the things that were hard, and when adding them up, it becomes even more painful.

Throughout the year, I thought about what brings me joy, as things got tough for different reasons: health, life, work, stress, loud inner critic, etc., and I wanted to add joy to my heart and soul. I reminded myself of what one of my teachers Robert Baker (RIP), used to say: energy follows attention. If we are giving attention to what’s not working, there will be more energy going that way, and it will likely grow.

My mother had a big birthday this year, and I decided to ask family and a few friends to send me a photo of them with her, and a loving message, to create a photo book. She loved it, and it was worth the frustrations of getting the messages passed the deadline I had set, and of agreeing on the photos to choose from with family members, etc. When I was putting it together, I noticed the joy I was feeling. In 2016, I had a similar experience. I wrote letters for the first 120 days of the year, then I slowed down and ended up having written 202 letters, acknowledging people how they had made a difference in my life. I received wonderful responses, and again, the process of committing to it, writing daily, and recognizing people’s impact brought me great joy.

I also remembered a Creative Writing 101 6-week course I took back in 2014. My comfort zone as a writer expanded, as we were challenged to write in a style that I had never done before. If that course brought me great joy, why didn’t I keep signing up to more courses right away? Well, the following year, I took a 10-week memoir writing course with the same company, but a different instructor and it was a horrible experience. Instead of focusing on the joyful one, and trying again with a different teacher, I didn’t sign up for any writing courses until 2018 (in another state).

Here are some questions to ask yourself to reflect and take this year’s joy inventory:

• What brings me the greatest joy?
• When did I feel the most alive this year?
• What project did I pursue that brought me so much joy?
• Who did I spend time with that made me feel better about myself?
• Who did I enjoy spending time with, just to be in their presence? Or just because the heartening feeling of being in each other’s presence is mutual?
• How well did I face all the challenges that came my way this year?
• What plans did I ruminate over even if I didn’t pursue them, that brought me joy?
• Where did I go that helped me experience joy in an instant?
• How often did I talk to myself in a loving way?
• What am I most grateful for?

Once you come up with the answers, even if you could only think of a few moments, I invite you to commit to taking daily or weekly steps to make the new year more joyful.

• What could you pursue in the new year that will bring you joy?
• Who would you like to hang out with more often, or whenever possible, and who would appreciate being in your presence as well?
• What effort can you make to acknowledge you for who you are, and the people who impact your life?
• Where can you commit to going at least once that would bring you joy?
• How can you make sure you have and use tools when challenges arise?
• What are the most self-affirming and kind talks you could have with yourself?
• How can you develop a daily gratitude practice (it could be very joyful)?

Feel free to add other questions for reflection and consider the simplest steps you could commit to and take to feel joyful all year round. You could also share here one thing that brought you joy this year. It might remind someone of something they are grateful for, or give them an idea for next year.

Happy New Year!

Elisa Balabram

PS. Getting married this year brought us so much joy, and hearing about the wedding from guests who enjoyed it, or who enjoyed the photos and video, even five months later, also feels joyful and heartwarming.

PS2. I purchased a couple of online writing courses to take in the new year. 😊