How to Move Beyond Resistance and Deepen the Self-love

I wrote a lot about self-love in the last couple of months. I also practiced every day each suggestion that I posted. Yet, some evenings I just wanted to crawl under the bed and say forget about self-love! I would indulge in not feeling good enough, not being perfect, feeling less than. Then, through a moment of clarity, I would remember that I had tools to deal with those feelings. But I was too far gone to make the moment of clarity last, or to actually use the tools, so I would go back to the familiar – resistance.

I would resist moving forward, and I would be stuck between allowing myself to feel all the feelings that came up, and simply avoiding them altogether. Can you relate? What do you do when you simply want to avoid those feelings that are percolating?  Do you usually try to avoid them or do you allow yourself to feel them fully? The more we resist, the longer they stay around, yet it is hard to take the first step.

Here are a few things that I learned to practice to get beyond the internal self-talk that wants to curse self-love and just feel bad for days:

• Reach out for help. After indulging for a while, and not being able to get myself out of that “dark” place, I may reach out for help and/or call a friend. It might be that the friend needs help, and by helping him/her my energy shifts as well, or it might be that I actually share how I feel, and by simply stating it out loud, it helps tremendously.
• Write. I find a lot of answers through writing, through asking questions that start with “how can I”: how can I change this situation?, how can I move beyond the resistance?, how can I know what am I resisting in the first place?
• Dance/Sing/Move. When the energy isn’t moving, a great way to shift it is by moving our bodies in any way we can.
• Meditate and connect to that place of pain. This one takes more effort and commitment, but it certainly has the greatest impact.
• Forgive yourself for being stuck, it is part of the journey.
• Be aware of what you are avoiding and of what you need. Be honest with yourself about the feelings you are trying to avoid.
• Allow yourself to feel all the feelings, name them, breathe into them, be with them, and watch them transform without any attachment.

If everything else fails, tell yourself that tomorrow is a new day, and decide that tomorrow you will, no matter what, use the tools you have to make different choices, to shift, and to either blow the dark cloud out of the way or to paint a rainbow on it.

Would you like to add anything else to the list for when you ever feel like throwing self-love out of the window?

If you feel ready to work with a coach, we can schedule a free complimentary call via Skype, contact me at: coach at askotherstrustyourself.com.