What comes first? How to move forward from stuckness and resistance into creativity and joy.

What comes first? I’ve been thinking about these questions for the last couple of months, while dealing with being stuck:

• The will to change or the change itself?
• Happiness that leads to action or action that leads to happiness?
• Despair or the unwillingness to do something about one’s current state?
• Trust that things will be different or things actually turning out differently than expected lead to trust?
• Procrastination or depression?
• Healthy eating habits just because or thanks to a health scare?
• Unstuckness by itself or the movement towards changing the status quo?
• An unexpected insight or an openness to inspiration?
• Do you get yourself stuck by not taking action or by taking action and failing? Or both? Or is stuckness related to lack of action or resistance to simply allowing?

What comes first?

Perhaps it is the knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and having the will to keep moving forward, or even taking a few steps while doubting that the light even exists…

How do you motivate yourself when you are stuck? A few steps to consider:

Acknowledge where you are – be honest with yourself. The number one reason that keeps people stuck is their own resistance to admit where they are and how they feel. State it out loud how you feel, and even share with a trusted friend or coach;

Allow yourself to be where you are with no judgment – judging does not help anyone to move forward. If you are stuck in it, repeat step one in regards to judgment, you will notice that the charged energy starts dissipating once you give it a voice;

Connect with your heart space – breathe into your heart, put your hand on it, clear your mind and listen to your heart’s wisdom. From this space you will find the strength and will to take at least one step forward;

Move – although it is hard to find energy to get out of the resistance, find something joyful that you can do, even if it’s just for 10 minutes a day – dance, go for a walk, or on a bike ride, practice any form of movement that you love or used to love;

Smell the roses and be in nature – spring is the perfect time to go for walks at a park, botanical garden, go for a hike. While in nature, don’t try to figure out the answers, simply enjoy the moment and clear your mind, the answers will come to you on their own as you let go of the grip;

Change your mode of operation – for example, if your work consists of writing, go paint a blank canvas. Do something creative that is not related to your current work, and see how your energy will shift. I’d recommend starting with something that you love to do just for fun: draw, paint, run, write poetry, play an instrument, sing, dance, sign up for a cooking class, or anything else that brings you joy without attachment to an outcome;

Reach out for help – if you haven’t been able to take even one of the aforementioned steps on your own, ask for help right away, it can make a huge difference;

Meditate – take time to quiet your mind, and connect with your inner knowing that stuckness is temporary.

If this list seems overwhelming to you, simply pick one, the one that will take the least effort where you are at this time, and make it happen. A small step you take each day will add up to real movement.

And again: what comes first: happiness or the movement towards happiness? And does it matter?

If you are wondering how I came out of being stuck, I took the steps mentioned above. What made the biggest difference was my willingness to acknowledge to myself how I was feeling, and to ask for help.

Feel free to share what you think comes first, and what you do when you feel stuck.

If you need help getting unstuck, and would like to consider working with me, we can schedule a Skype call. Contact me here.