I don’t know what I’m doing

Do you ever hear yourself say that, while cooking, communicating, working, presenting, selling, creating, etc.?  As I practice paying attention to my inner voice, I’ve noticed lately that when I’m cooking, that voice shows up every time I decide to try something different. I might be in the middle of adding a spice or herb I find in my cabinet, which was probably placed there by mom during her visit, and I hear “I don’t know what I’m doing”.

I only started cooking after I moved to New York, and it’s not like I’ve cooked daily since. I don’t consider myself a pro, I’ve never had formal training, and I usually don’t know what goes with what. I tend to resist studying about it or following book recipes… I try to follow my mom’s recipes by heart, but I sometimes can’t find all the ingredients, or don’t remember all that is needed, so I give myself permission to experiment. The reality is that when I catch myself thinking “I don’t know what I’m doing”, I acknowledge that yes, I don’t know.

However, I don’t stop cooking after I hear that inner statement. I’m usually hungry, and I have a plan, so I keep cooking, following my mom’s advice, and my intuition. I can’t recall a time recently that I failed so terribly that I had to throw a dish away, although it happened a few times. It probably helps that I’m mostly cooking for myself. I tend to get a bit nervous when I have guests, but I usually have a backup plan… “we could always order pizza”, as my mom who is an incredible cook says back home every time she comes up with a new dish. (That never ever happened, and I'm sure it never will.)

Back to my original question, do you ever hear yourself saying that? And do you take the time to check in and see if you really don’t know what you are doing, or if it’s just your mind’s conditioning speaking up? Either way, do you stop yourself from doing it, since you don’t know, or do you keep doing it, despite your inner voice?

I decided to investigate how my approach to cooking could be applied in business:

The Inner Voice says “I don’t know what I’m doing”.

• Instead of giving up I choose to do it anyway. Of course, with cooking the worst case scenario is that I have to go out to eat, and it’s not the end of the world. When I approach my possibilities to fail as something that if indeed happens, can be somehow fixed, I’m more willing to persist.
• The failures can be successes. I remember that I once tried cooking a recipe I found online of mashed cauliflowers, and I failed – so I ate it as a soup and it was pretty tasty. I have cooked the same recipe as cauliflower soup a few times since. I also have transformed business failures into stories that ended up becoming quite successful, as the readers were able to learn from and relate to.
• If I truly am lost, I choose to ask for help. When I have some left over ingredients that are different than the dish I plan to cook, I research recipes or call my mom. The same goes for business strategies, I brainstorm with my mentors when I’m uncertain of my next steps.
• I give myself permission to try. I’m constantly taking chances with cooking as I feel it’s the only way, since I don’t have enough experience, and I need to eat! The same is valid in business, until we have done it multiple times and it becomes second nature, we need to give ourselves permission to experiment.
• I trust myself. Since I’m often trying something new, and there is no one next to me to help, I have to trust my intuition. In business, it is crucial that we follow our own intuition, even when we are receiving the best advice ever.
• I take chances. I make use of the ingredients available in the kitchen and fridge, and find ways to use them. How about our own internal ingredients? I’m constantly going inward and investigating what else is there to explore, and coming up with alternatives for my business, and creative endeavors. I ask myself, what else can I create with my “ingredients”: expertise, knowledge, talents, and passion? In addition to teaching, coaching and writing this blog, I also wrote a fiction story that will be published soon. It is not business related at all, and it is a big risk, but it does have value, and it reflects my passion to help others through their healing process. How are you exploring ALL your ingredients - talents and gifts?
• Finally, I remind myself that it is possible that I do know what I’m doing after all.

If I ever invite you to dinner, don’t worry if you don’t like the food, I’ll probably have an alternative (chips and salsa comes to mind), and I won’t take it personally since I allegedly didn’t know what I was doing in the first place. I’m pretty sure it won’t taste too bad though, since it turns out that I do have some idea of what I’m doing.

So, do you ever hear your inner voice saying “I don’t know what I’m doing”? And what do you do about it?

If your inner voice leaves you feeling stuck, and you are ready to make a change, sign up for the Getting Unstuck Private Laser Coaching session with me. Learn more here.

Namaste,

Elisa