Sharing Love and Letting it Go

For the past few years, as long as I have time available, I have created gifts for friends and family, instead of buying them something. I started a little over two years ago, by drawing the flower that is shown at the top right of this post’s image. At the time, I was taking photos of flowers and trying to draw them. This was the first time I actually created a gift - I printed the photo, and drew the flower, put them both in a picture frame, and gave it to Robert Baker, a friend/spiritual teacher/mentor, who sadly passed away a year ago this Sunday. It meant a lot to me that he received it graciously, and displayed it right away. In most situations, I don’t receive the same response though.  Out of all the picture frame gifts I created for friends, I’ve only seen one displayed at another friend’s house, and it warmed my heart when I saw it. The others may have kept it somewhere hidden, or they may have thrown it away for all I know.

One of Robert’s lessons helps me to let go of any attachment to the response I may receive regarding the gifts I create: we are only responsible for what we give others, what they receive is none of our business, or some version of this statement.

I learned to remind myself that I cannot control what anyone receives. In fact, a few weeks ago I drew a special greeting card, as I had to send a check payment to someone. The person obviously did not notice the card, as even after depositing the check, he was asking me when I was going to send the payment. When I mentioned I had sent it with a special card, he said he probably hadn’t received it yet then. I can imagine the card being completely disregarded and thrown in the trash, and I remind myself of Robert’s words. On the flip side, I painted a greeting card for my mother on Mother’s Day, and she showed it to me via Skype that she framed it.

When you plan a gift for someone, either if you make it or if you buy something special, it is important to let go of any attachment to how the person receiving it will respond to you. Since that first flower photo/drawing gift, I made many others of the same style, and now I’ve been in a phase of painting cards and gifts. I have painted journal covers, I’ve painted greeting cards, and I’ve painted canvases, among others. Will I stop drawing/painting/expressing myself and sharing my love with others, because they don’t bother to say thank you, and don’t value it? Or they don’t pay attention to the details that went into making it happen, and how it relates to them? I could easily go down a spiral of feeling not good enough when I don’t receive an acknowledgment, and Robert’s words come handy.

Why do I keep doing it, you may ask? Because I receive by creating it. It brings me great joy to be focusing on someone I care about, and creating something unique specific to them. If they realize the appreciation, care and love that went into creating it or not, it is their choice, not mine.

When was the last time you spent some time planning a gift or a special celebration for someone? How did they receive it, and how did it make you feel? Next time, focus on the joy of creating it, and release any intentions to what people may receive. You will likely be pleasantly surprised when your gift is appreciated, and if it isn’t, remind yourself that you already received through the joy of creating it.

The same can be said about writing a blog.

Namaste,

Elisa