Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Clarify Your Priorities:

Today’s self-love challenge is about clarifying what you are really prioritizing in your life. We are usually either moving towards what we want to create, or moving away from what we want to avoid. I know from personal experience that trying to move away from what we don’t want, tends to have the opposite effect.

I recently did an exercise from the book “No Bad Feelings! A Revolutionary Way of Relating to Your Emotions” by June and Jim Spencer, and it really resonated with me. It is a great book that helps you understand your feelings and the importance of feeling them; and it is available for download at the Let Go & Live Institute website. I’m reprinting the exercise (with permission) below, called “Clarifying Priorities” (pages 143 to 145). This exercise helps you to go deeper within to identify what your most important priorities in life are and what feelings you are committing to either creating or avoiding every day.

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Feel and Name your Feelings:

Today’s challenge is for you to connect within, check in with yourself and acknowledge your feelings in this moment. As you do it, you will probably notice that your feelings keep changing, as long as you don’t resist them. If you are having difficulty doing the tasks you need to get done, ask yourself: What am I feeling now? What am I resisting? Name your feeling, allow yourself to really feel it, and continue your day. As soon as you name your feeling, and you allow yourself to truly experience it, moving forward and experiencing another feeling will happen naturally. If you are not sure how you feel, you can name it as frustration or anything else that comes to you, and continue to check in a few times a day. Knowing and acknowledging how you feel in each moment, takes practice and it is one of the keys to self-love.

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Tools and Commitment:

Congratulations on joining this self-love challenge. As we move towards the second half of the 30-day self-love challenge, some of the challenges may require you to go even deeper within. In order to be ready, you may want to review all the self-love challenges we have presented so far, so that you can bring those tools with you any time you need them. For today’s challenge, pick at least one challenge that you feel comfortable with to commit to a daily practice, here is a review:

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Cape May 2013

Body Gratitude Meditation

Take some time today to do a body gratitude meditation. During this time, make sure to practice self-love: keep your mind clear of any self-judgment you may carry towards any part of your body; put those thoughts on hold, at least for this meditation.

It may take five to ten minutes, and it requires you to lie down on your back, and start simply by breathing deeply, and imagining that you are in your favorite place in nature. Then, focus your attention on your feet, send love to them and thank them for the part they play in your life. Then, move on to your legs, send them loving energy and thank them. Keep going until you have taken at least a moment to thank and send love to all parts of your body. If

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Eat Mindfully

Today’s self-love challenge requires you to eat mindfully.

My version of eating mindfully includes choosing what we eat wisely, and before eating, setting an intention that the food we are about to eat will nourish our body and provide the nutrients it needs. It also requires that we do not eat watching TV or in front of the computer, but that we sit down and eat peacefully with intention and without interruption.

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Laughter with Friends

Today’s self-love challenge is an addition to the "day 3" challenge – laughter. Today’s challenge asks that you actually invite family and/or friends to laugh together. Each person can share a joke, show a video or tell a funny story. If you can’t meet anyone in person, maybe you could exchange jokes on the phone or via Skype.

My little sister and I always find things to laugh about and sometimes we just remind each other of old stories. A few years ago when she was visiting, we had dinner at a Japanese restaurant by my house. When it came time for dessert, we decided to try mochi ice cream. Neither of us had ever tried it before and we ordered the green tea flavor. After we ordered it and before it came, I told her “I don’t really like green tea.” And

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Get Your Body Moving

Today’s self-love challenge is for you to move your body, even if it’s only a 5-minute activity. The goal today is not necessarily to get in shape or healthy, (although of course it won’t hurt either), but to practice even deeper self-love. When deciding how you are going to create your body movement today, think of the exercises and movements that create the most joy for you. Make sure to choose something fun. If you already have a daily exercise routine, think of something that you don’t usually do, but that you love doing and go for it.

Here are some suggestions:

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Remind Yourself to Breathe Deeply

The self-love challenge today is to remind yourself to breathe deeply every time you remember. I have learned to practice taking a few deep breaths when I’m going through stressful situations, or when I can’t stop the mind chatter. I just take a few deep breaths, at least three, and it helps me to reconnect to myself and to refocus. It is simple and yet, it always makes a difference.

When I’m going through situations that I know deep breathing could help, I make a point to have a few reminders:  I write “breathe” on a post-it and leave it on my computer monitor; and I schedule a reminder on my iPhone that alerts me every other hour with the word “breathe”. If you need reminders, post a note on your computer screen, or set up an alarm, so that you can take a few moments to breathe deeply today.

Let me know if you needed the reminders and if reminding yourself to breathe deeply made a difference in your day.

Connect with your heart 

Today’s self-love challenge requires that you take some time to go inward. I recorded this meditation in case you would like additional guidance. Before listening to the meditation, set the intention that the answer will come to you with ease.

Click here to listen: Meditation

If you prefer not to listen to the guided meditation, take a few deep breaths, connect with your heart space, and then ask your Higher Self, "What can I do today as part of my self-love daily practice?" Or "How Can I Practice Self-love today?" Don’t think too much, write down the first thing that comes to mind, and then schedule some time today to do it. If you are not sure of the answer, how would like to treat yourself today?

Feel free to post what came up for you here, we can all use inspiration from each other!

Give Someone a Compliment

The self-love challenge today is to compliment someone else. It can be someone you know or a stranger, you choose. When complimenting someone make sure to:

• Speak from the heart and really mean it, it makes a huge difference.
• Be specific. Here are some suggestions: “This report is the most thorough to date, I like how you incorporated what we discussed last week.” “You have really grown since I met you, and you are so much grounded and calm, it feels wonderful to be near you.” “You are so talented and creative; your artwork touched my heart and inspired me to create as well.”
• Be authentic – and say something that is truthful but not necessarily expected.

By giving someone a compliment, you will receive it back by knowing that you brighten their day. Make sure to carry this warmth feeling of making a difference in someone's life, for the rest of the day.

Let me know how you feel after you give someone a compliment.