Practicing self-love may mean stepping outside your comfort zone

Fireflies

I have been writing a lot about self-love and what it means and what we can do when we commit to it. It includes setting boundaries, asking for what we need, taking time for ourselves, nurturing ourselves, showing up to have fun, expressing our creativity, meditating, doing things that bring us joy, and so much more. Some of them feel safe and easy and others not so much depending on how comfortable you are or aren’t with any of those activities or states of being.

In the spirit of my own commitment to self-love, I purchased on Groupon a painting class hosted by Paint Nite –Drink Creatively. The goal was to paint fireflies and create a painting based on an original painting created by another artist of Paint Nite. The site did recommend that you do this activity with friends, but I decided to buy it last minute, and didn’t invite anyone to go with me (first mistake). I also forgot to set an intention before I got there (second mistake). As I saw the age range of the majority of the attendees, likely half my age, and the fact that all of them had gone with friends or family, I started to feel uncomfortable (third mistake, but very much related to the first one). I also didn’t consider how the others could be better painters, could have done this before, could be true artists, and how would that make me feel, at least not until we started painting (fourth mistake).

My uncomfortability grew as I could see the painting of the person next to me, and how perfect and beautiful her sky was. She guaranteed to me, as we introduced ourselves to each other, that no, she was not a painter, or she had not painted in a long time. Yeah, right! 😉

At this point, I reminded myself of what Brené Brown said the other day; in one of the videos she is teaching on Oprah’s Lifeclass -> Don’t compare yourself to others. I kept feeling uncomfortable, and I kept telling myself to stop comparing, and to just do my thing. My painting (in this post’s image) does not look much like the original painting (you can see the original by following this link). In my defense, I couldn’t see the original painting very well from where I was sitting.

Here are the lessons I’ve learned or needed to remind myself of:

• Set an intention – Before leaving my home I could have set the intention to show up, have fun and enjoy the moment.
• Invite a friend to come along – I would have felt much safer and more comfortable if I had someone with me to share this uncomfortable and in a way vulnerable moment with me.
• Ask for help – After struggling to figure out how to create a thin stripe with the brush I had (we all got the same two brushes and the same paints), I asked the teacher for help. Had I asked for help after my first stroke, it’s likely that the painting would have turned out much better. I’m glad I asked for help, though, and I learned a few cool techniques.
• Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others – If you are in a creative class (be it dancing, writing, acting, taking photos, painting, etc.), any class that needs you to show your creativity and perhaps “flaws” in front of others, remind yourself that you are there to have fun and enjoy yourself. You are not there to be compared to anybody else’s way of expressing their art.
• Embrace uncomfortability – If all else fails and you are almost ready to run out the door, state to yourself, I’m so uncomfortable right now! You will see how you will feel more at ease when you simply acknowledge to yourself, or to your friend, that you are not comfortable.
• Breathe – Deep breathing when we feel uncomfortable makes such a difference! By focusing on breathing deeply I got myself back into the fun of painting, and I even added a few details that were not part of the original painting. Can you tell?
• Have fun – Make sure to enjoy this creative time, and don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect, as there is no such a thing anyway!

How about you? What activity are you reluctant to try because you feel uncomfortable about it? Let me know if the aforementioned strategies could encourage you to go for it.