Getting Up and Continuing the Journey after Falling

A few days ago I went to a family lunch and shared that I was looking into buying a bike. They mentioned that they had a bike they hadn’t used in years and they showed it to me. It’s a beautiful vintage bike as you can see from the above photo, and I’m so grateful they offered it to me. It’s a man’s bike and it’s kind of too tall for me, though. They suggested I gave it a try, since no one was using it. After work yesterday I stopped by to pick it up and to ride it back home. I checked my friend’s site www.ridethecity.com, to get the safest route in Brooklyn, and I followed it.

Before I tell you how the journey went, let me share my own journey with riding bicycles. I did ride as a child and a little bit as a teenager, but maybe over twenty years had passed until I tried again. I was at a friend’s beach house in Rhode Island a few years ago, and her granddaughter wanted to ride her bike and she invited me to go with her. When I got on the bike, fear took over, and I told her I couldn’t do it. She said, “tell yourself: Yes, I can, Yes, I can, Yes, I can.” She was seven years old at the time. She also gave me some great tips, I honestly didn’t remember how to get started and I’m still using her tips to this day. I loved it! So, every year since, I have made a point to rent a bike with a friend, at least once, and ride it either at Central Park or by the Riverside Park. Every time, I walked the bike through traffic and then rode it where I felt it was safe.

You can imagine how I was feeling out of my comfort zone yesterday. Not being a professional bike rider, not having ridden a bicycle in the city ever, and having a bike that I couldn’t put my feet on the ground that easily. I needed a little booster (can I use this word here? Not sure, but you know what I mean…) to get on it and I had to use the sidewalk step. It took me quite a while to get home, as every time I had to stop, I needed to walk to the sidewalk before I could continue the ride… The first time I fell, right after I had started, I fell on grass and didn’t hurt myself. I could make two choices then, walk the bike for three miles, or try again. I chose the latter. It all went smoothly, except for a few wrong turns. Ah, did I mention I didn’t know the area very well? I was happy to be riding though, it felt so good!

Then, there was a final red light five blocks from my place, and someone honked behind me (there were many honks through the journey, and I’m pretty sure only one or two were for me).  I got distracted, lost my balance as I stopped and ended up falling to my left, with the bike. My pants ripped and I got a bruised knee, ankle and my right hand also got hurt. The light turned green, the first car took off and the second driver stopped and asked if I needed anything as I was getting up, which was so nice! I told him I appreciated him asking and said I was fine. I didn’t mention I was bleeding and in shock… 😉 Again, I had a choice to make, walk the bike for five blocks or ride it. I rode it. There was no way I was walking that bike home after all.

After getting home all bruised, a little emotional, and shaking, I reached out to friends and family to get some much needed nurturing, even if virtually. They all came through in a big way, thank you.

In my opinion this is a good metaphor for getting up after falling in life, after making mistakes, after a business attempt fails or takes longer to happen, after life shakes you to your core and even though you may be shaken, you still can choose to get up and keep going.

Here are some lessons from my adventure:

1- When in doubt, take all the precautions. Getting directions from RidetheCity.com and getting the help needed to choose the safest route possible was crucial. I also got basic tips from a friend, sort of the best practices for riding on the streets. How can you analyze your situation from all angles, and gather all the information you need, so that you are prepared?

2- Stay calm, breathe and trust yourself. As I was enjoying the ride, at least when I was riding the bike, I reminded myself to breathe. I also used that mantra I came up with when hiking: I’m safe, I’m centered, I’m supported. I had to fully trust that I could do it as well.

3- Take your time. I know that when you feel ready to make something happen, you may want it to have happened yesterday. Make sure to take time and pace yourself, to learn from the journey, and to enjoy the ride. There is no reason to rush, and it will all fall into place. A journey that a professional biker would have taken 20 minutes or less, took me over 40 minutes. Yes, that includes the wrong turns, don’t you love those?

4- When “accidents” happen, evaluate the situation. If something major just happened, or something you planned didn't turn out well, take the time to analyze the situation and to decide on the best course of action. At times it might mean taking the time to regroup, to reinvent your strategy, to nurture yourself, or to change course. At other times, it might simply mean getting up and trying it again, and again, until it truly works.

5- Ask for help. Either as you are going through a crisis and an experience of falling down, or afterwards, make sure to reach out for help from friends or from a coach. There is no reason to go through it alone, you are not alone. Reach out by phone, text, email, social media, or use other means, and make sure to get the support you need to get up and keep going. Who do you know you can reach out to?

Yes, I’m buying a new bike, and one of my friends I reached out to, who is a professional biker, volunteered to go with me to the store. I feel lucky! I know I will succeed, and either way, there will be more stories to tell… 😉

I’d love to hear about your own experiences falling and getting right back on your “bike” again.

Elisa